Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
