There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
