So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
