Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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