FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
