so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
