Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
