just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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