So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm at about main and main street
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
