i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
