Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
