Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
