I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
