yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
