my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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