I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
