He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I didn't notice because vodka
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
