so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
