We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
