I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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