What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
