her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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