Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
