I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
