I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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