I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
