I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
