I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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