My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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