How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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