I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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