Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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