dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
