Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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