I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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