I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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