The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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