I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
