my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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