swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
