If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
