I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
