She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I stole a fireplace last night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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