Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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