literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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