We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
