If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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