shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
