David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
