you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
