so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
