So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
