I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
