Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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