just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
